With Donald Trump struggling in the polls, John Oliver sees three options for the controversial Republican presidential nominee: He can eventually lose – a "disastrous" option since "his entire brand is built around not doing that." He can eventually win – an even worse outcome because that would involve "living in government housing, conversing with fully clothed women and traveling in a plane that doesn't even have his name on it." This leaves what Oliver considers a more noble, revolutionary third option: dropping out.
On yesterday's Last Week Tonight, the comedian presented his unorthodox case directly to Trump, whom he called "Donnie," "Don-iel," Donathan" and "a racist voodoo doll made of discarded cat hair."
"Simply drop out and tell America this entire candidacy was a stunt, a satire designed to expose the flaws in the system," Oliver told the Republican. "And the thing is, you could actually make a fairly decent case for that. Because, although your campaign was the political equivalent of a bigoted clown's blazing funeral pyre, you have accidentally made upwards of four good points in your campaign."
Using clips from interviews, debates and rallies, Oliver presented his case, saying, "You didn't just expose the flaws in our political system – you exposed the flaws in us."
"Just think about how triumphant it would feel to say on national television, 'I openly ran on a platform of impossible, ignorant proposals steeped in racial bigotry, and nobody stopped me," he continued. "'In fact, you embraced me for it. What the fuck was that about?!' … You would not be a loser – you would be a legend."
Oliver closed the segment by highlighting a 1996 children's book called The Kid Who Ran for President, in which a young boy runs for Commander-in-Chief as a joke – and ends up gaining political momentum with his ridiculous platforms. Actor Will Arnett recorded an audiobook-style description of the character's first campaign speech.
"I have a question for the grown-ups of America: Are you out of your minds?" he asks. "Are you expecting me to enforce the Constitution? I never even read it. I was absent from school that day."