The Ministry frontman would like you to know that, despite the rumours, he isn't dead.
The last band that blew me away
Ministry. I know that sounds narcissistic but I haven't seen a lot of bands that have blown me away lately. I'm just saying.
The last album I bought
A second copy of Wire's 154 because I'd worn the first one out. That would have been about '88 or something like that. You have to understand, people send me records for free. I don't even know how to download.
The last time I forgot a lyric
Two tours ago. I actually learned my own lyrics for the last tour. I'm not Ozzy Osbourne.
The last time I had a haircut
Thirty years ago.
The last time I broke the law
Two days ago. I stole a shopping kart from CVS Pharmacy in California because I was sick and tired of draggin' all these heavy bags around. So I just grabbed the kart, threw it in the back of my truck and just took off.
The last rumour I heard about myself
That I was dead. I hear those all the time. People call me up and I have to answer, "Uh, no, still kickin', sorry."
The last time I was starstruck
In 1988 when I met Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top. He took me to one of his favourite Italian restaurants in Houston, Texas. I was like, "Why are you taking me out to dinner? Let me pick up the tab or something." He's like, "No, no, no. Our career was resurrected after that song ‘Legs'." They had programmed drums on it and he said they got all the samples from Ministry so the least he could do was buy me a nice dinner. The most amazing thing was, he has a beard about two-feet long and I have a beard about billygoat size, three-to-six-inches. I ordered the same thing as he did and I got pasta all over my face, my clothes, everything, and next thing, I look over at him and he's wearing a white suit with this big beard and there's not a spec of pasta on him. That was more impressive than any of his music.
The last time I threw up
The last thing I do before going onstage
The last thing I do before going to sleep
The last time I prayed
This morning. I pray every day. I don't know who the fuck I'm praying to but I'm just like, "Don't fuck me over today. Just take it easy on me, man. I'm getting old here; I can't deal with this shit anymore."
The last time I cried
When I found out how much my ex-wife from this new divorce was getting in the settlement.
The last time I swore at the telly
Today. I ride my exercise bike while I watch the news and all I do is just yell the whole time. I can't believe what a terrible world this has become. I voice my anger as I pedal away and before I know it I'm up to 45 miles.
The last time I ate something I regretted
Today. I ate a frozen burrito from 7-11 and I'm already hating it.
The last time someone was rude to me
Today. My mailman actually rang the doorbell and yelled at me that I hadn't taken my mail out in a week and he can't fit any more in my mailbox. I said, "Well, I don't like reading mail. So you can put all the shit in there you want, throw it all over the yard, fuck you, I'm not readin' this shit." I had to be rude with him because he was very persistent that I read my mail.
The last time I was embarrassed
Never. I do what I do. It's other people's job to be embarrassed. In the immortal words of Popeye the Sailor: "I am what I am."
The last time I questioned my career choice
Every day of my life.